Blonde to Brunette: Back to My Roots
JEWELRY Catbird & New Top Jewelry aka Jane’s | PANTS & BLACK TOP: Zara | GREEN TOP: The Source Unknown Store | BODYSUIT: Skims | LEATHER JACKET (photographer’s own): thrifted
It’s been a fun 7 years, but the time has come. My platinum blonde days are behind me. For 7 years my hair shone brightly on my head like a halo. I loved wearing red lipstick and all black outfits (still do), hair popping like an accessory. But it became more than that. It was an extension of my identity, a descriptor - the Puerto Rican girl with the ‘white hair.’ The attention was addictive. Even when stylists warned me that my hair was becoming more and more fragile and showing signs of breakage, I pushed for more just for the thrill of the icy ‘do and an edgy head-turning look.
After my last bleach session in early 2019, chunks of hair went missing. What once felt like a glowing halo, slowly transitioned into a stiff, messy burden of straw on my head. I used to feel confident in front of any camera. Now I just wanted to disappear. I started to retreat, gain weight, go out less and less. I convinced myself I was a nobody.
One day I just snapped out of this ‘platinum girl’ haze, as I noticed my brown hair overtaking most of my head and all the uneven broken bits catching up to the rest of my strands. The only blonde left were streaks, like a balayage job gone wrong. I just wanted to be my natural fuss-free self again. I wanted to look in the mirror and like what I see. I made the decision to go back to brown, back to my roots, back to finding myself. And while, yes it is just hair, this journey has taught me so much more than that. It’s helped me work with what I’ve got, as I break free of this irrational fear of ‘blending in’ and the self-imposed need to ‘stand out.’
-Jana Rose
Photography Jeanne Canto
Hair Studio.Raupo
